Thursday, July 14, 2011

And I'm off...

I have officially began the journey that will bring home the newest member of the Benson family. Yesterday was a whirlwind! I had been packed since Monday, but checking and double checking and checking again threw my day into high gear. Then add in the daily notes I wanted to write the kids and also the goodbyes, snuggling and sundaes-uggh, it was a late night. Did I mention the goodbyes? Those were the hardest and took the longest. I think they were hardest on me, but it looked like they were hardest on Ilei. It was a series of goodnights and I'm gonna miss you, with a lot of tears. A lot from her, followed by me running to my closet to shed enough tears of my own. The boys goodbyes were tear free for them, but I found myself holding it together only until they were out of my sight. Poor John, I cried right to his face saying goodbye. I had no where to hide and cry so he was lucky enough to have the whole show right in his face! I'm better now, the kids are fine. And when I landed in Chicago, I received this text from John: "already threw my wallet in the dumpster this a.m." It brought an instant smile to my face and still does. I cannot wait to hear the stories from home.

As I sit here and wait for our flight (that was just delayed and delayed and then delayed some more), I am excited beyond words to get our little Marlo!! I wonder about what she is doing, how she has changed since the most recent pictures we have received. Our little Marlo has no idea that her world is about to turn upside down. The only thing she has known will be taken away. We will be given a daughter, she will be given a family. Yet, it will be ever so hard for her. She will not understand why and how her world is changing. She will be scared. We will make it through and I see a lot of snuggles coming her way and my way too. And even though I am a stranger to her, she has been my daughter for a long time. She has been in my heart before she was even born and I cannot wait for us to find a spot in her heart.

Monday cannot come soon enough. It's the reason I'm traveling half way around the world. I cannot wait to hear the words "Here is your daughter, this is your mama."


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